The Pain of Being Real: Worth Reading, I Think.

I read an essay on The Establishment by a non-binary person explaining why they quit testosterone. There’s so much in it about race, the ways race and gender build on each other, and then feeling condescended to and feeling unseen, so there were experiences in it I could relate to and experiences I couldn’t. So much deep […]

via The Pain of Being Real — Words by Maria Catt


Do No Harm: An interview with the founder of Youth Trans Critical Professionals — 4thWaveNow

A new organization has formed for therapists, social workers, medical doctors, educators, and other professionals concerned about the rise in transgender diagnoses among children, adolescents, and young adults. Youth Trans Critical Professionals was founded by a psychotherapist and a university professor just a few short weeks ago. The organization has a website (already publishing thought-provoking […]

via Do No Harm: An interview with the founder of Youth Trans Critical Professionals — 4thWaveNow

US conversion therapy laws: Conflating homophobia with helping gender-defiant kids feel whole

Sharing this detailed, well-researched, informative post. Hoping to reach others who might find this information useful in helping to keep our children’s healthy bodies from being damaged by off-label hormones and dangerous surgeries. Our children are fine in the bodies which they were born in and, as “gender” is a social construction, perhaps changing our societal views on what “gender” means, would be a good place to start.


Source: US conversion therapy laws: Conflating homophobia with helping gender-defiant kids feel whole

Can anybody help us? Work and worry continues.

Feeling a wee bit frustrated today.  It seems that there is no help for the difficulty our family and our youngest daughter, in particular, is going through.  How do I impress on “professionals” that I KNOW my kid and I BELIEVE that she has been seriously and tragically mislead?  Even possibly brainwashed.  How do I impress this on “professionals” when what we and she is going through is seen these days as “normal”?  How do I let them know that, No, I am NOT in complete denial about the situation we/she is in but that I know, in my heart of heart that this is WRONG and not the way things were supposed to turn out to be?  How do I get them to understand that I have NEVER HAD nor do I currently have ANY EVIDENCE for what she is claiming to be true?  How do I get past my Anger about our society, schools, GSA clubs, and overall Socially Constructed Crazyness?  How do I get over being SO ANGRY with the internet and some of the crazy people who post crazy things there, for young people to see and impress into their own hearts?

I thought that perhaps I had found someone who could help.  A professional with a different point of view…a more practical, caring point of view.  Who has a realization that sometimes, like in my family, things are not as they seem and that other issues need to be assessed for and treated properly.  Who believes that the risks, as well of benefits, of different treatments need to be carefully weighed.

This professional is based far from me, in a different country.  We are blessed to have the means to travel there, to get help for our daughter.  We would go to the ends of the earth for our daughter and her health, peace and happiness.  She is a part of my heart <3. I have emailed this professional, asking if they would be willing to help us.  NO- I did not email them all of the MESSY, UGLY DETAILS of our situation and our daughters beliefs.  I just wanted to have a reply from this professional, and then decide how much to reveal and how far to go.  I received one short reply, telling me that she rarely checks the email address I sent this to and not giving me any details re any other ways to contact her.  I found a second email address thru the web, and have tried contacting her that way…still waiting, praying for at least a reply.

I keep holding on to the constant praying that I am doing.  Clutching tightly to my faith in Christ- that everything will turn out okay in the end.  Pushing back the worry, and the absolute fear and loneliness I feel at times.  Clinging to what I’ve been raised to believe is right and true. To what I KNOW is TRUE! That all of us are fearfully and wonderfully created.  It drains my energy and my joy, but I need to persevere.  Need to keep researching my way through this crazyness.  Need to find perspective and truth.  Need to find help for my daughter.

My heart is breaking. Tears fall at the most inconvenient and unexpected times :(. I have to focus on being intentionally “happy”, intentionally “okay”.    Sometimes I feel like I am nearing depression, or anxiety or both.  I am knowlegable about these disorders and I am constantly monitoring my feelings and actions. It’s very tiresome.  Sucks the energy out of me at times.

Two weeks until my youngest daughter turns 18. We should be happy and looking forward to the future.  Instead we are concerned, worried and sad. I hate that we’re going through this.  I hate that the “world” has changed her from a happy, bouncy, laughing little girl into a confused, moody, and mislead young person.  She suffers from dysphoria for which there really is no cure…not as I see it anyway.  Not with permanent scars. I worry that something traumatic has happened to her which she has never told us.  I worry about the voices in her head and the thought of her cutting again makes my heart scream.  I keep praying.  Keep praying and begging for truth about this.  My heart is screaming.  Crying.

Thank you for listening.  Just needed a moment to get these thoughts out of my head.

Sad Mum


Sad today with a hurting heart and weary spirit

It has been a year and a half since my husband and I learned about what my daughter was thinking, researching and  what she believes about herself.  I have spent countless hours praying, thinking, crying, pleading, loving, regretting, worrying, feeling angry, helpless, hopeless.  I have lost 10 pounds which I didn’t need to lose- which do make my jeans fit a bit nicer but certainly doesn’t make my spirit brighter. I’ve lost countless hours of sleep and hours of joy.  I feel so sad, so worried, so tired.  My husband loves and  has concern for our daughter and loves and is concerned about me, but he is a “black and white” thinker -who is used to creating solutions which solve concrete problems.  This time something has happened and is happening to our daughter that we can’t fix.  It’s not a “solvable”problem.  And it’s something nobody else, no professional can or is willing to  help solve or fix.  As harsh as this will sound, it would have been easier if our daughter had cancer…there would be so much help for her and for us.  Because her situation is seen, by society, as “normal”, it is viewed as not needing to be “fixed”.  But, because I AM Mom, and because she is and always has been a part of my heart, and because I have seen and felt NO evidence past and present for this being “normal”,  I know that this needs to be “solved”. It needs to be fixed.  I am trying to rely on my faith in God and trust that my continual prayers, through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, will be heard by Him.  Trying to hold faith that “things will turn out okay” (a chinese fortune cookie paper, taped inside a cupboard in my bathroom—I read it every morning when I pull out my skin care products). As time passes and I see no positive signs, it is so hard to keep my faith.  I have to cling to it with all of my heart. I have to fight the thoughts and feelings I believe the Devil sometimes puts into my mind.  I am so sad, so angry, feeling so alone at times.

Our society is changing and there is much more freedom and opportunity for girls than there was when I was her age.  While this is a positive thing, it also can have negative effects.  Society begins to accept that everything which once was seen as strange and wrong is actually okay.  And I don’t completely disagree with this thinking.  I do, however, also know that sometimes when someone thinks they are “different” and that this is “okay”- they are completely mistaken.  There are documented cases of regret. Also suicides.  I believe that my daughter has been tragically mislead.  I am angry with the internet.  With the sometimes crazy voices which are always so loud and so “right”.  I am angry with our society which accepts her thinking as correct, when I know in my heart of hearts who she is.  I am so upset with the lumping together of people with sexual attraction differences and those who are so uncomfortable in their own skin that they think they need to be the opposite of what they were created to be.  Sexual attraction and Body Dysphoria are two totally different personal situations, and yet they have been lumped together.

We are all just humans, trying to make our way through our lives on this earth.  To work, learn, eat, sleep and love.   Currently society has this need for labels about how we feel about ourselves, our bodies, and how we feel about others…heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, gay, straight, boy, girl.  Sometimes there doesn’t have to be any LABELS for how we are feeling…we just ARE.